How Can We Teach Kids to Be Kind?
If the last few years have taught us anything, it is that as a society, we are all becoming unkinder. The pandemic and other social issues have taken a toll on us emotionally, socially, mentally and financially. As a result, our tolerance levels are low, which is shown by how we treat each other around the world.
As adults, we seem to have forgotten the crucial role that we play when teaching our children how to be kind. Children look at us as their role models and first point of contact when dealing with situations that they do not understand. Therefore, to provide our children with a tolerant, happy, healthy world, we must first look at our role as educators.
Role-Modelling.
Being a parent is hard, and dealing with certain situations when we are exhausted or worried can be hard. But we must remember we are adults, and we can control ourselves, something that our children are only beginning to understand and do.
Think about the language you are using with your children, we don't need to change the way we talk; we just need to adjust certain words in our vocabulary. Be the behaviour you want to see in your child.
Teaching children good manners and being respectful to others begins with us adults.
Greeting people properly "Hello, good morning, how are you today? These are simple everyday things that we can do, and as small as it seems, it will go a long way when your children begin interacting with others, and you will reap the benefits of living with a polite individual in your home.
Why can children be unkind?
Kindness is a broad word; to teach children how to be kind, we must discuss different elements and virtues that will support them to become kind individuals.
Children can be very unkind to one another not because there is malice in them but because they are beginning to interact with the world around them socially. Children's journey to becoming kind individuals begins during their early years; learning about their emotions and understanding others is part of their emotional development, supporting them in developing sympathy and empathy later on in life.
Most of the time, children are unkind because of their inability to understand and share the feelings of their peers. In other words, they are just beginning to learn to put themselves in someone else's shoes which is a difficult concept to understand as a young child.
Me and Mine.
For toddlers, it is all about them, "me" and "mine" are their favourite words! Supporting their sharing skills from an early age will reinforce their understanding of others' emotions and learn how to interact socially.
For example, in Early Years settings, we often see children playing with a toy and leaving it to play with something else, but as soon as one of their peers begins playing with that toy, they will come back, snatch it and say, "Mine!".
Getting to the child's level and explaining in simple words, "That was not very nice, it made Todd feel very sad, we do not snatch we share".
Discussing feelings will support their understanding of the situation, and it will give them the tools to react differently if the same situation arises.
Books.
Books are a fantastic tool to teach your toddler or child the concept of overall kindness.
Reading stories such as "Why Lion roars", from the Tinga Tinga Tales, "Croc is snapping at the other animals and not sharing the waterhole.
The Little Red Hen, "The Little Red Hen is making bread, but none of her friends is willing to help her!" are beautiful examples to teach our children about kindness and fairness.
Stories such as Julia Donalson's Sharing a Shell and The selfish crocodile by Faustin Charles are also great stories to talk about feelings and what the characters can do to be kind.
Teaching our children from an early age about similarities and differences in people regarding gender, culture, abilities, and looks is a vital part of their development. In addition, it exposes them to the broader world, teaching them that we are not all the same. Still, we are all an essential part of society, teaching them tolerance and acceptance.
Engage in pretend play.
For older children, pretend play is also a great way to practise empathy. Asking open-ended questions will encourage discussion and allow you to point out differences and situations without making a judgement, as young children cannot form their own opinions yet.
"There is only one cupcake left, but you have two babies; what can you do?" "Your teddy fell down. What do you think we should do about it?"
As children get older, asking them to imagine more complicated real-life scenarios will further support their understanding. You can begin to discuss more complex issues regarding how to be kind.