Helping Your Child Through the Biting Phase
Navigating the biting phase with little ones can be daunting, especially when they are still learning to understand and express their emotions. While there's no instant remedy for this behaviour, it's important to remain patient and consistent in your approach.
Remember, this phase is temporary, and with time and perseverance, your little ones will grasp that biting is unacceptable behaviour.
Why Do Children Bite?
There could be many reasons why our little ones bite! Here are some of the reasons children might start biting:
Teething: The discomfort from teething can lead children to bite to soothe their gums. For example, a little one might chew on a teething ring and then transition to biting their other arm when the ring is unavailable.
Exploring Cause and Effect: Your little one might bite to see what happens when they do. For example, They might bite another person to see the reaction, such as a cry or a reaction from an adult.
Sensory Experience: Biting can provide a unique sensory experience. For example, your little one might bite on objects like toys, furniture, or clothing to explore different textures and sensations.
Oral-motor stimulation: Some children need oral-motor stimulation and bite to satisfy this need. For example, a child might frequently bite objects or people to fulfil their sensory cravings.
Imitation: They might imitate other children or adults they see biting. Example: A child might see another child bite someone at nursery and then try it themselves later at home.
Feeling Strong and in Control: Biting can make children feel powerful and in control of their environment. For example, a child might bite another child to claim authority or control over a toy or play situation.
Exploration: Children often explore their world with their mouths, tasting and feeling different textures. For example, a toddler might bite on leaves, sticks, or toys while playing outside to explore their environment.
Attention: Biting can be a way to get attention. For example, a child might bite their parent when they feel ignored or when the parent is busy with another task.
Self-Defense: Sometimes, children bite to protect themselves. For example, a child might bite another child who is taking their toy or invading their personal space.
Communicating Needs: Toddlers may bite to express needs or desires, such as hunger or tiredness, as they don't yet have the words to express their 'big' emotions. For example, a toddler might bite their parent when they are hungry and can't express it verbally.
Expressing Difficult Feelings: Biting can be a way to communicate frustration, excitement, anger, confusion, or fear. For example, a child might bite a peer out of frustration during a conflict over a game or activity.
Testing Boundaries: Biting can be a way for children to test boundaries and understand what is acceptable. For example, a child might bite to see if they will get the same reaction from different adults or in other settings.
How Can You Help?
Here are some strategies to help your child through this phase:
Provide Teething Relief: Offer teething toys or chilled teething rings to soothe sore gums and reduce the urge to bite out of discomfort.
Observe Patterns: Pay attention to when and where the biting occurs. Look for patterns and triggers during playtime.
Watch for Cues: Notice your little one's body language, facial expressions, and vocalisations to catch early signs of frustration, excitement, or overstimulation.
Intervene Early: When you sense your little one is becoming overly excited or agitated, redirect their attention to a different activity or toy to prevent biting.
Model Gentle Behavior: Demonstrate gentle interactions with your child and others, showing them how to communicate and resolve conflicts peacefully.
Encourage Empathy: Help your little one understand the impact of their actions by asking questions like, "How would you feel if someone bit you?" Or gently guide their hand to touch the area they bit, then softly say, "Ouch, that hurts."
Teach Communication: Use simple language to explain that biting hurts. Encourage them to use words or signals like "Stop, I don't like it" instead of biting.
Create a Calming Spot: Designate an area in your home as a calming spot with soft cushions, sensory toys, and books for your little one to retreat to and help them calm and self-regulate during elevated emotions.
Praise Non-Biting Behaviour: Reinforce positive behaviour with verbal praise or stickers when they refrain from biting.
Stay Consistent: Ensure everyone at home is on the same page. Stick to your approach and remain patient as you work through this phase.
Use Timers: Timers can help with waiting, sharing, and taking turns. Short breaks can teach patience and help manage waiting periods.
Set Clear Boundaries: Use firm, friendly, and consistent language to communicate that biting is unacceptable. Gentle but firm phrases can include:
"Oh no, we don't bite! It hurts, remember?"
"We don't bite our friends or family. How about giving a hug instead?"
"Our mouths are for eating, not biting!"
"Use your words; you can say stop, I don't like it, etc.”
Helpful Books.
Books are great tools for helping our little ones understand biting and emotions. Reading together can help them identify their feelings and learn appropriate behaviours. Here are some book titles to get you started:
Teeth Are Not for Biting by Elizabeth Verdick
No Biting! by Karen Katz
Biting Hurts by Lovevery Books
Little Dinos Don't Bite by Michael Dahl
Ravi's Roar: A Big Bright Feelings Book, Tom Percival
The Feelings Book by Todd Parr
The Colour Monster by Anna Llenas
Biting is a common phase many children go through, and with patience and consistency, it will pass. By understanding the reasons behind the behaviour and using these strategies, you can help your little one navigate this challenging stage.